Guide to Sexpositions That Balance Comfort and Pleasure

If Sex Feels Uncomfortable, Maybe It’s Time to Switch Positions

We often overlook a simple truth: not all discomfort during sex stems from emotional or relationship issues. Very often, it’s just a matter of an ill-suited position—something that doesn’t align with your body’s needs.

Choosing a position isn’t just about “adding variety.” It directly affects whether you can relax, enjoy yourself, and even experience pleasure.

Dr. Laurie Mintz, American clinical sexologist and author of Becoming Cliterate, puts it this way:

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When we start choosing positions based on how we want to feel, rather than what everyone else is doing, that’s when we truly begin to honor our own sexual needs.

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Dr. Emily Nagoski, author of Come As You Are, emphasizes that the majority of vulva owners reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation—not penetration alone. So if you’ve been trying a “classic position” but still can’t feel enough pleasure, it’s not your fault, and you’re not doing it wrong—you just haven’t found the position that suits your body best.

If you're looking to ease discomfort or dryness during sex, try focusing on three key areas: communication, lubrication, and new positions. Today, we’re diving into that third one—positions—and offering you a fresh, body-friendly map to explore.

Want to Last Longer? These Positions Help You Play the Long Game

Lasting longer isn’t about holding back—it’s about finding the right rhythm and level of stimulation. Positions are your best tool to fine-tune both.

Lazy Doggy

You lie face-down on the bed, and your partner enters from behind, laying gently over you. The full-body contact feels intimate, but the angle limits the depth of penetration—perfect for building pleasure without “hitting the peak” too fast.

This is a great one to pair with a vibrator—place a small one under your pelvis to deliver steady stimulation to your clitoris or perineum, while your partner thrusts slowly from behind. The multi-layered sensations can stretch out the experience and give you that “I could come three more times and still want more” feeling.

Table for Two

This standing position packs visual punch: you're bent over a table, your partner standing behind. It creates a powerful “being taken” vibe and works especially well for light BDSM play.

Add handcuffs to keep your hands in place, or wear a blindfold to heighten anticipation. A cock sleeve can help your partner last longer, and a well-placed vibrator on the table edge can turn each thrust into a whole-body tremble.

Easy Glider

Your partner sits in a sturdy chair, and you straddle them. This position is all about slow, gliding movements. You can opt for penetration, or just grind—letting your perineum and clit find their own rhythm.

It’s also perfect for integrating toys and kink elements. Bind your wrists to shift control to your partner, or try nipple clamps to synchronize chest and pelvic stimulation. Add a delay lube or cock ring to stretch out the moment and let pleasure ripple through you.

Want to Ease In? These Positions Help You Relax Into Pleasure

Great sex begins with comfort. Not every encounter needs to be a fireworks show. Sometimes, the right angle or gentle touch is all it takes to melt into the moment.

Lean Into Me

This is a go-to for transitions from kissing to sex. Picture standing in the kitchen, by the window, or in front of the bathroom mirror. You’re kissing, slowly getting closer. One person leans against a surface, the other lifts a leg, bodies meet—penetration is soft and optional. The magic is in the closeness.

Even without penetration, standing grinding, gentle thrusting, or simple body contact can warm up your whole system—perfect for long, slow-building sessions.

Side Cuddle

If you're looking to stay relaxed during penetration, side-lying positions are your friend. Lie facing each other, bodies close, with gentle entry—or try spooning from behind for a slower, softer rhythm.

It’s ideal when you want minimal friction and deeper intimacy. Use your hands to guide the pace, or add a pillow or toy between thighs and hips for extra cushion and support. With less physical strain, you’ll feel every subtle shift more vividly.

The Duo
This is a versatile classic: you lie on your back with legs open, partner kneeling in between. It’s simple, but offers tons of freedom. You can go for full penetration, or just rub your vulvas together for external stimulation.

Great with toys—try manual or vibrator stimulation on the clit while being penetrated, or add nipple clamps, ice cubes, or other sensory play. You can even bring in blindfolds or earplugs to dial up the tactile sensations by tuning out everything else.

The Rabbit
Your partner kneels, and you sit facing away on their thighs. You’re in charge—controlling depth, rhythm, and speed—and it’s perfect for incorporating clit stimulation via a vibrator.

This position works beautifully as a “masturbation-plus” posture: you don’t have to rely on your partner entirely. Your own movements, pressure, and muscle control can build up layers of sensation. It’s a great way to explore edging and orgasm control.

Still Hurts? Ditch Penetration Altogether

If penetration still feels painful, hit pause. Penetrative sex isn’t the only kind of sex. Try 69 oral play, let your partner ride your face, or go for hands + mouth + toys combos that bring you straight to the pleasure zone.

Anal play is another option (just remember: hygiene always comes first!). Don’t forget: great sex isn’t about “doing the right thing”—it’s about finding the route that fits your body.

One Final Truth, Worth Repeating

Sex should never be about enduring, tolerating, or performing. Real pleasure happens when both of you feel safe, open, and curious. Changing positions isn’t about flashy tricks—it’s about reconnecting with what sex is truly for: feeling each other’s bodies, giving and receiving pleasure, and discovering what feels right for you.

So next time something feels off—something's not quite right, or it's just not hitting—be bold. Try a new angle. That “I didn’t know it could feel this good” moment might be waiting just one position away.